hugging your two faced shit

i thought everything between us was okay.
well, yeah.
so i thought.

i can't believe how two faced people can be.
that however hard some try to bring unity onto the world, each and everyone of us is just wired to save our own skins, our own interests, regardless of who we hurt.
i am not saying that i am not guilty of such behavior...
it's just that~ i don't do so when it comes to family and friends.

and it hurts me so much now that a friend of mine that keeps up the pretense that everything is okay, goes behind my back and tell the other people on our circle of friends that they HAVE to hold her back because she might say some hurtful stuff to me - regarding an issue that was like six months ago!
i just can't figure out the crap we went through before, all these patching up texts and calls. that i initiated, and she ended. her saying that all was ok already.
there i was, hugging her, saying that i freaking missed her and then she saying fucked up things that was just meant to hint on stuff but never really talking to me, never airing out her issues.
hell, i guess that's why she can't move on.

as of the moment,
i just don't want anything to do with her.

if you could walk on clouds

i'm baaaaaaaaaaccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk!
hell, i don't think i'm prepared for the Philippines.
the heat! the sweltering, icky, sticky, polluted heat!!!

and oh my, the public transportation...sweet mother of *%^&$^$*!!!

but then again-atleast i could go anywhere i want anytime. sweating my fats off too. sauna on the streets. yey.

gah.
before i even got on the car to go to LAX, there was drama.
on LAX, there was drama.
entering the gate...there was even more drama.
come to think of it, i bought the ticket to escape the drama..
now i'm contemplating if that was the right reason to get on the plane.

considering that there was responsibilities waiting for me here too.
say goodbye to the bum life.

the flight from LAX to taiwan was so freakin' long. considering the seats.
damned hard seats.
and then having a major headache because i was not able to get proper sleep.

from taiwan to NAIA...it wasn't long enough. haha.
it was beautiful-because it was my first time flying with daylight...and the clouds were ... just amazing!

oh and by the way-EVA has crappy food.

so here i am.
enrolled.
jet lagged.
and well,
so out of it.

let's see how this plays out.
keep your fingers crossed.
wish me goodluck.

tied with strings

i am just a puppet to you.

i want!

drool*

ANAIS NIN

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.

Sebastiao Salgado