my favorite things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

◘◘◘

A rainy sleepy day spent at home.

A good book and an engaging movie.

Acoustic music and dancing without inhibitions.

A warm hug and sweet smiles.

Exploring the internet and making something pretty from scraps.

Comfortable silences and laughter shared with family.

A joking banter between lovers.

Clean, fresh air in the morning and peppermint coffee.

These are a few of my favorite things

When your father is sick but cheating.

When the tears fall from loneliness.

When there is anger in the eyes of your mother.

When you are naive and unaccepted.

When you make mistakes and almost die.

When you create worlds and conversations that would never come true.

Simply remember your favorite things.

Yea, it might help.

Some.

uncurable

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

~ Helen Rowland

Because men would always be men.
Boys will always be boys.

They would always,
always,
have
their girls,
their toys.

~iamneverlander

this year's end

what happened this year?

2008 was a year of endings.
earlier this year, my internship ended,
it left me feeling sad because there were more studying to be done.
the 'last stretch' studying before graduation.
and then suddenly it was done.
my batchmates and i were marching at PICC.
i didn't really feel the ceremony.
it breezed past me.
too fast for me to feel and have it ingrained in my mind.
now all i remember of the whole affair was that my feet hurt from my impossible heels.
college ended. sans 'the bang' that i have waited and hoped for that past 5 years.

in the middle of the year,
it was the review madness.
i was all geared up to be in 'the game',
i studied and prepared myself,
only to be strapped in and be put down by my OWN school,
implying all the while that i was not deserving of a chance to take my local boards exam.
because i was not "smart enough".
and they needed the smart ones to pass the shit, so they could promote their school to be breeding super minds.
it was a bitter ending.

then,
i thought i was to start something.
i was scared and excited to be flying out to a different place,
scared because i was leaving my security blanket behind.
i was to try to be an adult.
well,
it didn't go that way.
i'm still in the purgatory in between my teens and adulthood.
no choices, decisions made for you.
problems heaped on you, but no way out.
realizations made,
because NOW, teh ugly truth is out.
plans shattered,
new plans are a big risk.
somehow,
i hope this phase ends with the year.

all of a sudden,
2008 brought one more ending that was the saddest of all endings.
with the last few days of the year,
it ended my family.
with the stupid ways of my father,
the paranoid reactions of my mother,
a passing care of my sister,
how my brothers ignores everything,
and me knowing,
crying,
but can never do anything to make it all okay.

it's a sad year.
goodbye 2008.
i hope you had never come in to my life.

oh johnny!

it's last song syndrome.

bear with me.

just out of everything

I'm running out of patience.
very obvious.

can't get a grip on faith.
pretty much troubled.

in a trance

i'm excited.
when i go home, after a week of getting used to the time difference,
i'm going to ask anyone and everyone...

TAKE ME CLUBBING!!!

headache

i want to go home, but at the same time not.

i want to work out the problems, but at the same time they don't.

i was good at something and proud of it, now i'm stripped of it because i'm a novice after all.

help me.

i live for..what?

There are 6.7 billion people in the world.
1,463,632,361 people using the internet.
33 million people are with HIV.
2.2 billion children.
We are also said to be in the Golden Age, because the number of old people is soaring.

There are dreams being fulfilled.
There are dreams being dreamt.
There are dreams being unreached.

How many people in the world may be giving up right now?
How many are lost?
Just like I am?

Back in 2000, i blamed myself for causing a move, getting my family split up and never really complete again. I blamed myself for being a burden. Just recently, i learned, that I was not the reason, I was a factor, but not the main reason. The main reason for that life changing move was, my parents gave up trying to make it work, my mother gave up being at the poor side of the spectrum of life. So we moved back to the Philippines, because $>Peso and whatever my father get from his job was enough for a middle class living.

Now, we're at a point that we are split up again, and my father typed out something that crushed me early today~ see what sacrifice we are going through(being split up for the holidays) just because of you.~
He blamed me for their mistakes. He blamed me for his stupid decision making. He blamed me! ME?!

Yeah, because i ASKED to be here. Because, i REQUIRED that my mother be here. Because I got my sister's car into an ACCIDENT. Because, I am the reason that my sister is so selfish that she had not helped us get settled here. Because I'm so dumb that I can't pass my licensure exam to earn money. Because I did it. Yeah, Blame it all on ME.

Blame me for your leech relatives.
Blame me for your disease.
Blame me, blame me, blame me!

My goal used to be to give back to my parents even just a fraction of what they give me, to let them live comfortably.
I'll still give you that.
but the first chance that I can be very far away from everyone, i'll go.
i'll just send you a postcard.

my parents used to be my reason to get up every day,
to somehow get through it and take a step towards my goal.

now, i don't know why i still get up.
why i still have to fight for no one.

unwritten

i want my story to be still unwritten.

not be what it is now,

full of cross-outs,

doodles,

and the writer seems to always have a writer's block.

get me unwritten, lemme go beyond the lines.

lemme start over.

but a curse seems to follow me around.

what?

23.

at this age most people know what they want to be and is working towards their career goals.

but i don't. i just don't.



i graduated and all.

but i just didn't want to be in the industry i'm in.

no escape

no one likes to be stereotyped.
so each and every single one of us, strive to be different, strive to be recognized.
but then, once we get older, thinking that we have proven what we are all throughout the years...

someone reminds you of how old you are;

L: You have a 40 year old grand child mom.
Mrs. L: I do? Oh my...how old am i then?
L: You're 89. You also have another grand child that's 50.
Mrs L: (laughs) But I don't feel that old, i feel like i'm 25.

When someone who knows and recognizes the symptoms, they would tell you that you are an Alzheimer's, Stage 2.

whoosh

the posibility of getting to go home is over exciting me. because for once in my life i'm gonna be home with my own money. plans are forming in my head, i can feel the joy and excitement to the very tips of my fingers! i never felt like this when i was about to leave.:D

anyway, it's all still not sure.
a very big roadblock is still in the way, and things can always go in different directions.

well, if ever i will be able to go home; here's a list of thigs to do and experience:
1. Review for the NPTE
2. Have driving Lessons.
3. Go to a club.:D
4. Have a summer getaway with the boyfriend and HS friends.
5. Meet up with college friends.


waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
i wanna go home!

overwhelming

first, she wanted me to come here; because she was alone.
second, we were with her, then she wanted to kick us out.
third, she bought a car, put up $5,000 and wanted us to do the monthly.
fourth, she already has two dogs, then she bought me one.

1. i was not prepared, but i came because, i loved her and pitied her because she's been alone for years.
2. it was an accident, darn it, nobody wanted it.nobody meant for it to happen.
3. hell, i don't know how to drive, you won't let me take that car out for practice because it's YOURS. and i just know for sure, you won't teach me..because you don't have TIME.
4. i can't even take care of myself yet, and you give me responsibility? WTH?!

it's hard to

it's hard to keep my head above the raging waters my life is turning out to be. there is conflict on all sides and aspects of my life, that sometimes, i just want to give up, and drown.

i'm going with the wave, but up until when would it be like this? i want to fight against it,
am i strong enough to?

i hate the rants, i hate the hatred, i hate the arguing, i hate the problems.
why did everything have to happen?

adulthood, is not fun.
adulthood is stifling.
adulthood is f'd up.

adulthood is here. and it's giving me one hell of a ride.

twinkle:twilight

so i finally got to see Twilight.

so disappointing! i don't know maybe it's because the movie was no match for my overactive imagination or maybe it's because i worked myself up too much on seeing the movie.

but the lead stars suck!

I was so bored, and the best actor for me for the whole movie was Charlie and the most funny was Jasper.LMAO.

Kristen Stewart just did NOT get the part acted out right, no Isabella Swan there, that's for sure.

And Robert Pattinson, i give credit for LOOKING the part, but somehow, he was only 1/4 of what Edward Cullen really was in the book. Personally, i just think he looked constipated most of the time, and Bella looked like she was always having an epilepsy or was going to have one.

The only things i liked was:

♥ The atop of the trees scene~it wasn't on the book but it was sure nice.
♥ Alice Cullen~she looked the part! yey!

♥ Charlie Swan~he acted the part, 2 thumbs up!

♥ Jacob Black~he's cute ☺

♥ Cullen baseball scene~they got it right.

I'm just so dissapointed with the lead stars.

just imagine if Ed Westwick played Edward Cullen~

& Leighton Meester playes Isabella~

it would've been hella better.